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  • Making My Home A Dream Home

    UPDATE:  I GOT THE HOUSE!!!!

    FINALLY!!!  Good things come to those who wait. 

    The bank finally accepted my counteroffer and reduced their asking
    price to match my bid!  Unfortunately, interest rates have gone up so
    my mortgage payments will likely be slightly higher than if I'd just
    paid the original asking price.  Stupid banks!

    This means the deal is for real this time.  Unless something seriously
    wacky goes wrong during the closing process, this is it....I GOT ME A
    HOUSE!

    I have to figure out a way to get out of my one year lease at the new
    apartment!  Damn, I just moved in!!!  Guess we gotta pack everything
    back up and move out again.

    Original Post: April 6, 2008

    A dream realized, even if it came sooner than expected, is still an accomplishment to be celebrated.  So here I am about to close on my first home purchase...now what? 

    There are a million things on my to-do list for the house, added to the regular stress of tending to my work, family, social and emotional well-being.  I've had to tackle complicated tasks, such as negotiating an interest rate with mortgage brokers, budgeting for closing costs and immediate purchases, researching and comparing quotes for everything from alarm systems to homeowner's insurance to kitchen appliances...to simple tasks like transferring mailing addresses, switching utility bill packages, ordering moving supplies, and reserving every local friend I know to help me move in.  It's been a hell of an experience having to learn of all these things in a short amount of time. 

    Buying your own house is a thrill  -- I'd invested a lot of time, energy, and money into getting it.  It's practically my life's work so far.  Now I need to turn this house into a home, even if I don't know how.  With that said, I've also spent countless hours dreaming of what I could do to make it a home.  Besides for the sentimental things, such as hosting holiday/social gatherings, dinners/BBQs, or making time to garden with my mother, I would like to make some aesthetic changes to my home as well.  Here comes help from HGTV. 

    We purchased a home that accomodates our lifestyles...we're travelers at heart but love to retreat to the comfort of our own home when we're in town.  Our new home has an open floor plan to entertain guests and an expansive garden that boasts of life year-round.  It's a comfortable (nothing lavish yet!), contemporary-styled house built in 1990 with 3 bed/2bath, 1680 square feet and an all-encompassing 0.194 acre.  By California standards, this is a decent sized house on a LARGE lot.  I'm overwhelmed by the amount of gardening I have to do...and you know how terrified I am of worms.  hahaha   Anyway, I'll post better pictures of the home sometime in the next
    couple of weeks after we get the home appraised and inspected.  In the meantime, here are some pictures the old homeowners took:

    The front of the house has major curb appeal, with a stucco exterior and tile roof.  There are two palm trees, one on each side of the house, and some type of shade tree in front.  The front entry, with its large fruit-flowering shrubs on both sides (which you can't see in this picture), gives it an enchanted feel. 

    Once you enter pass the foyer, the living room is right in front of you.  There is a formal dining space but we're using this room as a formal living area to entertain guests.  This picture only shows half of the space; the room is actually a pretty long, rectangular area.  I'm thinking of painting that fireplace white to temporarily update the look.

    To the left of the living room is the kitchen and dining room.  We've forgoing the family room furnishings by dedicating the entire space for formal dining only.

     

    The guest bathroom.

    Master bedroom with access doors to backyard.

    This is a pretty wide side yard.  I haven't figured out what to do with it but I don't like wasted space so I'll figure out something.  Maybe an extended herb garden for Mom. 

    The Secret Garden -- in my opinion, the best part of the house.  This picture only shows about 1/3 of the actual backyard and is missing the gigantic overgrown shade & pine trees in the back.  Follow the walking path to the right, which wraps all the way around the brown gazebo, and sit on the benches along the way.  It'd be perfect for a dinner party in the summer!   The white arbor includes a misting system in case the weather gets too hot, as many Sacramento summers are.

    Now that you've seen the skeleton of the house, let me show you what it could be after I'm done with it.   This is a 20-year plan.  hehehe  I've figured out that my style is Contemporary / Traditional, with a hint of fascination for Modern and Old World. 

    The living room would feature a theme known as '40s Glam, which combines
    luxurious, languid interiors with a modern touch.  Of special note: the
    unexpected chaises, pony hair fabric on the Klismos chairs and
    architectural detailing that unites the room.  (Designer: Stephanie Henley)

    The dining room would also take on a modern ambiance.  Touching on the trend to 1940s glamour, this dining room features
    double chandeliers in a modern deco-inspired design with frosted glass
    and bronze and platinum framework, a table of lacquered pecan and
    walnut, and chairs in a light textured fabric and curved styling to
    complement the deco-style dining table.  The artwork? Old glamour poster
    art, of course.  (Designer: Stephanie Henley)

    However, the master bedroom retreat would have a traditonal feel.   White velvet upholstered wall panels contrast beautifully against the
    dark outline of the wooden headboard. The mirrored
    nightstand and classic set of table lamps add symmetry to the room.  (Designer Ammie Kim)

    Master bathroom should be simple, with lots of light, and keep with a traditional/contempoary design. 
    White quartz countertops reflect light and balance the depth of the heated slate floor that grounds this bathroom.  (Designer Beth Haley)
     

    Guest bathroom will be redesigned to give the illusion of more space.  (Designer: Ami Dahan)

    Last but not least, the garden...though I want less tiles on the ground in my garden than the one shown below.  The outdoor terrace was built large enough for entertaining large
    groups, as well as being comfortable for smaller, more intimate
    gatherings.  It features a series of outdoor rooms including the dining
    space, family room, fire pit space and the destination of a water
    feature as the backdrop.  Soft lighting enhances the feeling of this
    space and allows after hours enjoyment.  (Designer:  Robert Hursthouse)

  • A Change of Scenery

    The time it takes me to drive to work has doubled since I moved to the
    new apartment, and I suspect it will double again if I move to the
    house in Elk Grove.  The new apartment is in a serene neighborhood, conveniently located close to the university.  Instead of hopping on the freeway like I used to, I take the inside roads to work.  I learned this from Daniel -- when I was in Magog Quebec, the small town feel attracted me to enjoy the slower, more tranquil pace of life.  So like him, I skip the fast lanes and cruise through the small streets intersected with tons of stop signs and Victorian homes.  I admire the architecture and the overgrown shade trees covering the roads.  I watch the early risers and retirees who take their morning jogs with their dogs around McKinley Park.  Sometimes, I laugh at the jokes and sing along to the songs on the radio.  Most times, I drive in silence. 

    I see my life changing in every way and I'm embracing the changes as calmly as I can.  The pace of life is still as frenzied but juggled differently.  My mornings start earlier; my routes to the bathroom and closets are more efficient; I skip the coffee on most mornings.  My days are still long with work but I spend much more time gardening.  The apartment is decluttered and organized for the most part, and for the first time, I splurged on picture frames in order to give the place a homey feel.  I don't think I've ever taken as much consideration to comfort until now.  My potluck this past weekend was a success...the first of many gatherings I'll be hosting from now on.  Every Friday, I cook a gourmet meal -- I go all out by setting the table, bringing out the wine glasses and folding the cloth napkins, and complete with appetizer, entree, dessert and wine.  In the winter, I'll light the candles. 

    Now I need to get the final word on the Elk Grove home.  Apparently the deal is (barely kicking but) still alive. 

  • Answers

    A lady called into the radio this morning to ask for the DJ's help in finding out if her boyfriend was cheating on her.  The idea is that the DJ would call the bf and offer him a catch-free opportunity to send a dozen roses to a woman of his choice...so if he sends it to a woman other than his current gf, he'd be cheating.  Not that women don't cheat but I haven't seen any men calling into the radio station during this show ("War of the Roses").

    Story turns out to be that he was cheating and broke off the relationship on the air...in a very rude way, I might add.  I see this over and over again...the person that breaks off the relationship usually is the ass and the one that's just been dumped is the pussy.  This dumpee always sounds so desperate by crying and asking WHY?  "Why did you do this?"  "Why, is s/he hotter?"  "Why couldn't you just be honest?"  WHY WHY WHY?  The dumpee always wants answers when the answer is so obvious.  To quote a book Liz sent me once..."It's called a break-up because it's broken."

    I felt so bad for that girl because I was that girl a couple of times in my life (though I didn't have to call the radio to find out I was cheated on).  When you find out that you got cheated on, you usually haven't had time to reflect on all the things that's been going wrong with your relationship in the first place.  You start wanting answers to everything that could make that person leave.  You start doubting your own self worth and perhaps try to hide that insecurity by saying "I don't need you!  You'll never find someone better!" when deep inside you feel like it's YOU that wasn't worthy.  You may even want to know who that third person is, what s/he looks like...to see if they are BETTER than you? 

    It's a road to avoid.  Looking back, for those times I was cheated on and I didn't know who the girl was, it made it a lot easier to just walk away from the broken relationship altogether.  Healing time was incredibly short.  Not having a face to that third person left me with enough self-dignity to just leave without any self-pity.

    There aren't answers for situations like these...at least not answers that you'd want or accept.  So just keep walking...they will either regret their decision after it's too late and you've moved on (as I've experienced) or they will move on without a thought about you (in which case, they weren't meant for you anyway). 

  • Confidantes

    Life lessons are sometimes difficult to swallow.  I have learned a lesson recently and ithurts to have experienced it but nonetheless I am glad I learned it.  The lesson is about deciding whom to tellyour secrets to. 

    Recently, I told a good friend a secret.  It’s not particularly a secret that I wouldNEVER tell someone, but that now is not the time to be admitting to my deepestfears to more than one or two of my closest confidants…perhaps after somesubstantial amount of time when I can make sense of the situation and brush itoff as a life experience without being embarrassed when telling someone that Imade a mistake. 

    ANYWAY…my thoughts are jumbled.  I apologize.

    My point is that having a confidante is oh soimportant.  Someone who you can run toand tell all your deepest darkest thoughts to…or just simply admit that you’renot perfect in any way.  Someone whowill see you for you…full of flaws, bad habits, and negative traits…but willstill love you for yourself, in spite of yourself.  And when that confidante responds in a negative manner, leavingyou feeling uncomfortable, ashamed and somewhat offended…well, you just don’tlike that feeling do you?  What do youdo?

    My first initial reaction to her reaction was to close upand just forget about ever being honest with her again.  Perhaps cross this person off as aconfidante altogether.  Then I thoughtabout how our different upbringings and personalities make us automaticallyrespond in a certain manner.  It makesperfect sense why this confidant would respond the way he/she did…but of courseI didn’t realize that because I thought the response I get would be in themanner I wanted.  Life doesn’t alwaysplay out like you planned.

    One thing is for sure – this person is off my list.

    P.S.  I am not saying that I am a perfectconfidante…because there are times when I don’t sympathize or empathize with adear friend who has come to me for advice or just to lend a shoulder to cry on.  I, too, am capable of making someone feeluncomfortable.  I’m sure people havecrossed me off their lists as well. Shack it up to life lessons we all have to learn.

  • Smiles

    Smiles are contagious; the same way yawns are contagious.   I have been smiling a lot lately and you can sense it.  Be careful because I just might infect you!

    Sorry for the lack of posts lately.  Not because I don't have anything to say...because I do...I have plenty to say...but now I have a different outlet for my thoughts and it feels quite good not to be on Xanga much these days unless it was for pleasure reading.  I rather enjoy not having to pour my feelings out in through this venue at the moment. 

    I'm on a Xanga hiatus again...and I'm all smiles about it. 

  • Value

    Best quote I read today!  (Thanks Brody!)

    Utah Phillips - "You are about to be told one more time that you are America's most valuable natural resource. Have you seen what they do to valuable natural resources?! Have you seen a strip mine? Have you seen a clear cut in the forest? Have you seen a polluted river? Don't ever let them call you a valuable natural resource! They're going to strip mine your soul. They're going to clear cut your best thoughts for the sake of profit unless you learn to resist."
     
     
    Random note:  Leena got me addicted to Sprinkles cupcakes. 

  • Potluck Dinner

    at my house on SATURDAY, June 28th...

    I accidentally texted everyone with the wrong date (June 29th).  SORRY ABOUT THAT!

    Thanks Art for catching my mistake. 

    See ya soon!

  • Life in a Suitcase

    My bags are packed and I'm ready to go!

    That's how life's been for me...packed in a bag and continuously on the go.  It seems like one neverending flow of activities.  I'm always amazed at where my life ends up once I look back tomorrow, next month, next year, next decade. 

    Just as I'm almost done unpacking all my stuff at the new apartment, I'm having to pack for the following events:

    June 14th-15th -- Phuong & Huong's wedding & meeting up with Leena. 
    June 29th -- Housewarming/potluck dinner at my new apartment.
    July 4th-6th -- Ryan visits and we are going on survival training (aka annual camping trip) (read: no showers for 2 days) 
    July 10th-14th -- Montreal trip (boat rides, jacuzzis, dinner parties, FUN in the SUN! Oh, and of course business: researching restaurant possibilities)
    July 18th-20th -- Conway visits from Vancouver
    July 27th-28th -- Hoai's birthday bash
    August 7th-11th -- Phu & Angela's wedding in Vancouver where I'm one of the emcees.  Looking forward to seeing Conway and Roff in one of my favorite cities!! 
    August 15th-17th -- Nancy Le's birthday bash
    September 9th-10th -- Hogan visits Sacramento on my birthday! 
    October 4th-6th -- Vivi's wedding in Phoenix (which I regret to say I may have to miss but am praying I won't!  )
     
     

  • What About Birthday Surprises and Gay Pride Parades?

    Nobody understood me quite like her.  She could always finish my sentences, send secret messages through with just eye contact, sense when something was wrong.  No friend makes me laugh as much as she does.  With no one else do I share as many inside jokes with, except possibly my ex-bf. 

    I was just looking at old pictures of us that I found while moving things around the new apartment.  We took so many pictures
    through the years...partying, dance performances, random midnight dining, hanging out, Gay Pride Parades.  Her birthday's coming up in a couple of weeks, yet I have no idea how to get a hold of her.  No phone, no postal mailing address...just an email address.  The things you send through email can be quite impersonal...

    We're no longer best friends due to some drama, distance, and just busy schedules getting in the way.  Sometimes I wonder if we ever were.  We're not best friends in the traditional sense...neither of us ever kept up with each other's schedules but for everything else that could define a best friend, she was mine even though I didn't give her that title officially.  Twenty years of friendship.  A great friendship.  We had many great seasons together.  I hope it will prove to be the friendship of a lifetime...

    People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  When
    you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
    person.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to
    meet a need you have expressed.  They have come to assist you through a
    difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you
    physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend
    and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.

    Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this
    person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. 
    Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up and
    force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has
    been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.  The prayer you sent
    up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

    Some people
    come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share,
    grow or learn.  They bring you an experience of peace or make you
    laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually
    give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it, it is real, but
    only for a season.

    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime
    lessons ,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
    foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put
    what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of
    your life.

    It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

  • Sudden Changes In My Life

    "Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living."   Miriam Beard

    Just this past weekend, I was vacationing in Quebec City without a worry in the world.  During that weekend, I toured beautiful cities, enjoyed great company and hospitality, basked in the sunshine while boating on the lake, ran in the rain, splashed water at the Montmorency Waterfall, appreciated the skyview of Quebec City, drove through the scenic Eastern Townships of Quebec Province, cooked a four-course gourmet meal for friends, relaxed in the jacuzzi, partied like a rock star, and learned the simple ways of life of Quebecois.  It couldn't have been any better.  I learned quite a lot about other people and how they lived; in turn, I learned a lot about myself.

    "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.  Don't resist them
    - that only creates sorrow.  Let reality be reality.  Let things flow
    naturally forward in whatever way they like."       Lao Tzu

    Could my life be any more unpredictable? 

    I came home from Quebec on Tuesday morning with news that I am no longer a prospective homebuyer.  The house deal fell through and my apartment lease was ending on June 1st.  Rent was too high so I decided to move to a cheaper location.  Luckily I found a very nice and affordable place by Wednesday then spent Wednesday-Sunday evenings frantically packing and moving to the new apartment.  Thanks to all my friends who came by to help with the last minute move!

    "We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance."   Harrison Ford

    No longer having to be concerned with a mortgage, which could very well be a blessing in disguise, I decided NOW would be a good time to pursue my dreams of opening a cafe/bistro (and one day turn it into a chain).  Maybe in Quebec state, maybe somewhere in the United States...I'm still researching various markets where my ideas could really take off.  My mentor taught me that life is more than just a job --- so find something you believe in and put your life into it.  I love food; I love entertaining...so why not follow my passion and make it a lifelong career?  I only live once...and regardless of how great my life appears to be to everyone else, I haven't felt ALIVE in quite awhile. 

    "No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have
    the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want
    to change."       Barbara De Angelis

    While so many inspirational friends of mine were pursuing the greatest thrills of their lives -- whether it be living in Antarctica, starting an international business venture, teaching English in foreign countries, attending grad school in the most competitive schools around the globe, getting married to their true love, etc. -- I felt life was a kite flying by and I was trying to hold on to the kite's tail.  I couldn't control anything in my life or find any contentment.  I traveled from coast to coast in search of exotic destinations, great people, different ideas, magnificent architecture, delicious food, and most importantly unexpected experiences and profound enlightenment for purpose and meaning of my very own life.  It was as if I was chasing happiness in every direction, without any real direction. 

    "You can conquer almost any fear if you will make up your mind to do
    so.  For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind."   Dale Carnegie

    I spent countless hours conditioning my body, hoping that it would in turn strengthen my mind...but it took a good heart-to-heart talk with my mentor to realize that the mind is the power-control station. 

    So what if you found something you really believe in?  What would you do?