June 27, 2008

  • Confidantes

    Life lessons are sometimes difficult to swallow.  I have learned a lesson recently and ithurts to have experienced it but nonetheless I am glad I learned it.  The lesson is about deciding whom to tellyour secrets to. 

    Recently, I told a good friend a secret.  It’s not particularly a secret that I wouldNEVER tell someone, but that now is not the time to be admitting to my deepestfears to more than one or two of my closest confidants…perhaps after somesubstantial amount of time when I can make sense of the situation and brush itoff as a life experience without being embarrassed when telling someone that Imade a mistake. 

    ANYWAY…my thoughts are jumbled.  I apologize.

    My point is that having a confidante is oh soimportant.  Someone who you can run toand tell all your deepest darkest thoughts to…or just simply admit that you’renot perfect in any way.  Someone whowill see you for you…full of flaws, bad habits, and negative traits…but willstill love you for yourself, in spite of yourself.  And when that confidante responds in a negative manner, leavingyou feeling uncomfortable, ashamed and somewhat offended…well, you just don’tlike that feeling do you?  What do youdo?

    My first initial reaction to her reaction was to close upand just forget about ever being honest with her again.  Perhaps cross this person off as aconfidante altogether.  Then I thoughtabout how our different upbringings and personalities make us automaticallyrespond in a certain manner.  It makesperfect sense why this confidant would respond the way he/she did…but of courseI didn’t realize that because I thought the response I get would be in themanner I wanted.  Life doesn’t alwaysplay out like you planned.

    One thing is for sure – this person is off my list.

    P.S.  I am not saying that I am a perfectconfidante…because there are times when I don’t sympathize or empathize with adear friend who has come to me for advice or just to lend a shoulder to cry on.  I, too, am capable of making someone feeluncomfortable.  I’m sure people havecrossed me off their lists as well. Shack it up to life lessons we all have to learn.

Comments (1)

  • i feel ya. it can be very difficult to find a single person who you can tell absolutely everything to. the difference in upbringing definitely plays a huge impact on the way one behaves and respond to unconventional issues. in any case, remain confident in yourself. i can always be your listening ear :)

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