February 26, 2008

• Dating Interference

  Dating is pretty simple, in my opinion, or maybe it just seemed so much easier than we make it out to be. 

  I remember my first "boyfriend", I can't recall his name but he was a cute kid (of course!).  We were in kindergarten then and I can only remember that he always bought me candy or ice cream during recess.  See, my love for food was evident even at a young age.  I don't recall him ever holding my hand or kissing me on the cheek, but the memory of us eating ice cream in the school yard will always makes me smile.  

  Growing up, the rules of dating were pretty easy to follow.  Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, one writes note to another or asks a friend to see if there is interest from the other party...then next thing you know, somebody makes the first move to hold your hand...then boom, you're automatically boyfriend and girlfriend.  The time span from first crush feeling to bf/gf status takes no more than a month.  We were impatient then, I guess, but I'm a late bloomer and didn't begin dating until I was 16 years old...I remember he wrote a poem to ask me to be his girlfriend.  Does anybody do corny/sweet things like that anymore?! 

  Dating wasn't so complicated until I got to college.  The difference was that I stopped crushing (high school) and actually took a more active role in pursuing my interests.  And as an active pursuer, I was able to be more selective.  Afterall, if I have to work for his affection, then he better be worth it!  We run into incidences of "right time, wrong person" / "right person, wrong time".  It was also at this time that I learned there are many fishes in the sea...for both parties.  Competition somehow became the norm.  It was no longer the simple days when someone took my hand and then I was his girlfriend...nope, we had to go on multiple dates to see if we're compatible, make sure we can hold lighthearted and serious conversations interchangably, be able to have some physical chemistry, and be rated everything from our fashion senses to our intellectual capacity to our familial ties.  The one step dating process became a five-step process...talking to, hanging out, seeing, dating, then finally you are in a relationship.  The home run could stretch for month after month...and in the end, you could stagnate in any of the stages indefinitely, without a plan to take that leap of faith. 

  I'm at the stage in my life where I must be absolute adult, the person that should put dating in the back burner since I have to buy a house, maintain a business, work a day job, etc....well, now my mother must disagree because she decides to give me a little BOOST in the dating department.  Do you have parents that want to hook you up with their good friends' children?  My mother never tried her hands at matchmaking before but she must be feeling like it's crunch time or something, like I should be married soon (darn Asian parents!!!).  For the past year, I've heard her friends asking about me and she'd go into tidbits about my dating life..."oh, she's just picky, you can't rush these things"...but now she goes full throttle in discussing the possibility of setting up a meeting "for the two children to see each other in good light."  She told me today that a friend's son is graduating and that he has invited me to attend his masters degree graduation in June so I should plan my vacation times accordingly to make the trip out of state to attend such an important event.  I've hardly ever spoken to him in person, we've exchanged emails a few times.  If he wanted to contact me, he has my number.  I doubt he's asked me to come; I suspect it was his mother or father that invited me.   Awkward.

  Maybe dating can never be that simple.

  • 5:41 pm
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